When the Angels Sing

Music lately is everywhere. It's Christmas, so why wouldn't it be? I think it adds a bit of happiness to the world. I was talking to someone at work last night about how Christmas music is different from any other music, and how I wish they played it year round. He said it has something happy about it, something celebratory in mood that normal music does not have. He's not a member of the church, which I thought was interesting to note considering the comment. Although probably not meant in this way, I agree with the comment. I think that many Christmas songs celebrate the birth of Christ. It doesn't end there though. Christmas songs are a celebration of happiness, life, and charity.

In the church that I belong to we believe that when you are married you are not just married until death do you part. You are married for all of time and eternity. Maybe that plays a part in why I am still single, I'm not completely sure. I never thought of myself as picky, BUT I do know that I want to be sure that the person I marry is someone that I will love spending the rest of my life, and afterlife with. Some people should lean a little more in that direction I think. I believe that in this point in my life that if I dated someone for 6 months I would be fairly certain at that point whether I could, or would, spend the rest of my life with that person. I see people who break up and get back together over and over again and it blows my mind when they make the decision to get married. I fear. I fear with great intensity getting married some day and having it all fall apart.

I sent an email to my manager and supervisors a few says ago that I thought might ruffle some feathers. Amazingly it was well received. There are a lot of unhappy people at my job. Our computers are extremely locked down, to the point where doing our job is impeded by the security limitations we have had put on us. They had promised us shift differential when we were hired, but we have yet to see that. We do not get paid for holidays until we have worked there for 6 months. Medical benefits cannot start until at the very earliest the first day of the 4th month of employment. I know at least one person who plans on leaving soon no matter what the changes. Every person we lose makes our job harder.

I made cookies tonight. Yet again stuck at home on my night off with absolutely nothing to do at 4 in the morning. I've had a bit of a writer's block as of late, so I just figured if I sat down in front of the computer maybe the words would come out.

An amazing girl dragged me to the barber shop this week to get my hair cut. A girl who has no interest in me at all. A girl that although quite incredible appears to have low self esteem, and yet, not so low that she would have any attraction to me. I marvel at the depth of my inadequacies daily. Miranda has committed me to think only positive things of myself, but I must admit, it's one of the hardest assignments I have ever had. I think there may be others who understand this. Maybe there is someone who likes me that I have no interest in. To those ladies I offer my apology. The haircut has earned me many compliments. Whether hollow or sincere I know not.

The title: Social Distortion - When the Angles Sing